Winter's Season
by Kate.Scott.120
Summary: A girl who has only dealt with pain, and secrets her entire life, finally meets someone new. She learns who to trust, and who not to. A romantic story with a few twists, and plenty of raw emotions.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

I learned early on how to hide my true emotions, to not let people in and see what I'm feeling underneath, I know that nobody really cares no matter how they might act towards you. I'm not going to try and blame everything on my family, just most of it. They made me who I am today. They made me as cold as the season I was named after. My name, is Winter.

If you look at my wrist, you see my past, my present, and my future. There isn't much skin left unmarked, clean of pain. You would see my scars from previous incidents, when I felt most unloved, when I fell deep into my well of depression, so long gone I couldn't think straight, or only craved to get out the blade. When the blade bites my skin, it starts off as just a sting, very small, but always there. It gradually gets worse, suddenly it's a burn. That's when I'm on my high. I feel loved when I take out the blade and let it fly, I feel invincible, like I could go through anything and end up being okay. I feel a pain like no other, I feel desperation like none before, and I feel completely lost. There's this feeling of loneliness mixed with fear that could take anyone into the depths of some version of hell, even those who claim to be the strongest of all. People like me.

Once before, my family saw the skin that was scarred, saw the pink flesh sticking out from the usual pale skin, and saw the dried blood just around the edges. I've heard stories about families discovering that their child cuts, that they're in depression. I've heard that the family blames themselves, and opens their eyes, that the kid gets better, and everything turns out okay. I hoped that's what would happen with me, but instead, I got the cold shoulder. Nobody cared, they pretended not to see, I should be thankful that they didn't throw a rant, give me too much attention, make me go to therapy. Should be. Too bad I'm still disappointed, I didn't expect them to care, not enough to make a difference at least, but I was just too hopeful. Hoping that maybe they would change their minds and we could be a family I've always dreamt to be. Too little, too late. Only one person has ever showed care for me, her name was Autumn.

Autumn was my big sister, but also so much more than that. She was my best friend. I told her everything and she always returned the favor. I never knew if we were close simply because we were sisters, or if it was because we both had to go through the pain and terror of dealing with our family. We knew how the other felt, and we were the only ones who could say that. Nobody else could ever understand how it felt to live our lives. When Autumn died a year ago, I felt a pain like no other. It was worse than when my dad first hit me, or whenever he comes home with a new weapon he can't wait to try out. It was the pain of losing the only person who would ever understand you completely, and wholeheartedly. The only person who could save you from the life you have. The only person you've ever loved.

One time, I remember things had gotten so bad with our fathers new hitting habits, that I told Autumn I was going to commit suicide. I told her that I couldn't deal with it anymore and I was done. I will always remember her reaction to what I had just said; she looked at me with an expression hard to read and said "Are you crazy? Do you know how selfish you'd be? You were born into this world for a reason Winter! It might not seem like it now, but you're still young! You could grow up to become the president for all you know. You have a purpose; you just have to push past the bad parts before you can see it. Promise me you'll keep pushing. You have to promise me." I knew she was right, of course I did. The pain though…it made everything worse. Every time my father looked at me with that wild look in his eyes, I knew what was coming and I couldn't do a single thing about it. I promised her though. There was something about Autumn…something I could never deny. I always considered her to be the pretty one between us two; she could easily have been a model. She was a good 5'9'' with auburn hair that went slightly past her jaw and green sea foam eyes that you just knew you had to trust. Whereas I, with my 5'5'' frame, have long dirty blonde hair that flows to the middle of my back, and bright blue eyes, so bright they're almost startling. Autumn always claimed that I had the prettiest eyes she had ever seen, but I always found them disturbing, but Autumn was my big sister, and I tried to listen to her…especially after she was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

On the first day back to school, I was just about to leave my house when my father came out of his room and told me that he needed to talk to me. "Just come here for one minute Winter, you're not going to be late, I promise." I hesitated but I knew if I didn't go it was just going to take longer to get out of the house. "Now Winter," he said, "You have to understand, those grades of yours? They better stay up. That's one thing you were always better than Autumn at. It better stay that way, even if she is dead. Now, go." I felt tears well up in my eyes, but I stayed silent, not wanting to deal with the emotions now. "And Winter? Come home right after school." I started to protest, but I saw the warning look in his eyes so I nodded, and left.

I got into my car, a black mini cooper, and drove away from the house as fast as possible refusing to cry. Letting my tears fall would be like letting my father win, and that's something I swore I would never do. I thought about Autumn as I drove to school. If she was still alive she would be turning 19 in just a week. She would probably be living in Chicago by now, the city of her dreams, instead of in Colby, North Carolina with us. She loved our high school; the teachers were always nice to her, even though she never got the best grades. She had always been the more artistic one, while I'm more into getting good grades and taking all AP classes. This year I'm going to be a junior, almost old enough to move out. So close, yet so far. As all of this is running through my head I finally turn into the schools parking lot, and as soon as I park I start heading towards homeroom, this time it's with Mrs. Parker. Everybody loves Mrs. Parker, her and my sister had gotten along really well, probably because she's the most popular teacher, and Autumn had been the most popular student. When Autumn had died they had Mrs. Parker say a few words in honor of her life because they had been so close. I never knew what all they had talked about, and I guess I never would, but I always wondered if they talked about our home life. Probably not.

We didn't have a very big high school, but it was definitely complicated. There were sets of stairs everywhere, and long hallways with different alcoves for classrooms, and no one subject was in a specific section. One English class could be on one side of the school while another is on the completely opposite side. You had to learn the layout of the school, which wasn't very easy. Because of this, it was always easy to spot who's new to the school and who isn't.

When I got to Mrs. Parker's class I immediately felt the stares of at least five people trained on me. I was used to this after having dealt with it for a year, people just couldn't believe that I was related to the most popular girl at school who died nearly a year ago, which was understandable. Autumn had a bubbly personality, and was always smiling and laughing no matter what had happened at home, while I always kept to myself, and didn't really talk unless absolutely necessary, and avoided any eye contact with others. Nobody really knew who I was, if anything I was referred to as "Autumn's younger sister", that is, until Autumn died. Now I get stares as I walk through the hallways, trying to blend in, but knowing I'm not. At first people were nice to me, even invited me to a few parties where apparently they were going to "honor Autumn's life" but I never went, I knew it would just be a waste of time. A few teenagers gathering around getting drunk and pretending to feel bad about another students death was not something I wanted to be a part of. Anyway, they all stared at me as I walked in, and I went straight for the desk in the second row from the back, at the far corner, right by the window. I sit in the same seat every year, no matter what classroom I'm in. I could feel my cheeks start to get red under all the attention, but I just kept my head down. As soon as I sat down Mrs. Parker was at my desk and couldn't help herself from saying something, "I'm so sorry Winter, it must be so stressful having to come back to the one place where…well, you know, where Autumn was so known." She had that look on her face that told me she was being sincere and really did want to comfort me, she just didn't know how. "I'm okay Mrs. Parker, really. I miss Autumn, but I understand there's nothing I can do about her death. Don't worry about me." I figured this would get her to go away, and I was right. She nodded her head and slipped away to get ready to take attendance when the bell rang signaling you're supposed to be in class. Just as I was settling into my seat preparing myself for the onslaught of emotions that was bound to happen once my name gets called off the roster because it reminds everyone of Autumn, something weird happened. I looked up and across the room I saw someone new walk in. It wasn't just someone; it was a guy I had never seen before, who was absolutely gorgeous. Almost every girl in the room was looking at him, and you could see the look on some of the girls faces, as if they were predators ready for their prey.

He started to walk towards my desk and I quickly looked away. I wasn't allowed to be like the other girls; I refused to be like them. I don't want people thinking I judge them on how they look. When Mrs. Parker finally got to him, she started rambling about how he could take any of the empty seats, and how it was so refreshing to have someone new around here. He looked around for a good place to sit then, of course, decided on a desk right beside me. In the row it went, me, new guy, Auden (only the world's biggest bitch), Tiffany (the world's second biggest bitch who's best friends with Auden), Daniel (most popular boy—Dated Autumn before she died), Connor (Daniel's best friend), then Heather who really isn't so bad, just quiet. So basically, if the new kid talks to me it's social suicide (which he so wouldn't do anyway), but if he talks to Auden, then by the end of the day he'll be school royalty. I don't know why I'm always stuck sitting near the "populars" or whatever you want to call them, but I always am. Too bad I'm about as far from popular as it gets. Mrs. Parker started to read off the class list making sure everybody made it to school on time, and like always, everyone was in their seats that they have every year. When she got to me I could feel everyone staring, the room going silent. Suddenly one person coughed, and Auden looked as if she was about to kill me for taking the attention away from her, as if I wanted it. The room was uncomfortable for about a full minute before Mrs. Parker took a deep breath and continued on, her voice more shaky than it had been just a minute ago. I looked up from my desk and noticed the new kid staring at me with a new appreciation in his eyes. He took out a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down a quick note, and then passed it to me; "hey" is all it said. What is this, 5th grade? Who passes notes anymore? I responded anyway, a new kind of excitement bubbling in the pit of my stomach. "Hello." There. Try figuring that one out! He smirked when he read it then continued to write "so Winter, huh? Interesting name, but not quite interesting enough for a whole room to go silent. What's the story there?" I felt like I couldn't breathe. I didn't want this new guy to know all of my problems, not this fast. "Don't you think that's kind of personal? I don't even know your name yet." Breathe Winter, breathe. He smiled and kept writing, not even hesitating in the slightest. "Nate. Now your turn." I thought about it for a minute, but figured he would know by the end of the day anyway, so why not let me be the one to tell him? "Well hey there Nate. They're still in shock because my sister died last year. She was quite popular, I think everyone thinks I'm adopted or something because of how different we are. It's whatever." He took it rather well, which surprised me. He raised his eyebrows slightly, but kept writing anyway. "Wow, that's tough. People are overrated anyway. Wouldn't worry about what they say." I almost got mad when he wrote that…how dare he think I care what people think! He's a total stranger asking me about my dead sister, and I openly tell him, and he thinks I care what people think? Well screw him too. Just as I was about to write that down, the bell rang telling us it's time to start heading to 1st period. I grabbed my bag and angrily walked out of the room hoping I never had to talk to Nate again. Of course fate wasn't on my side though.


End file.
